College is an experience that has been crucial to my development, not only academically but also as a grownup. I have lived with roommates/ housemates in three out of the four years that I have been in school and there have been plenty of lessons learned. There are life lessons to be learned by living with others and while it can be very frustrating and challenging, the lessons are well worth it. Here are the top three lessons that I have learned from living with other people for three years.
1. Communication Goes a Long Way.
While this may seem like a no-brainer, I have met enough people in college to realize that not everyone knows how to communicate well. To add more depth to it, not everyone will communicate the same way that you do. It is important when you start living with someone to establish a line of communication that you both agree to. It could be as simple as a text message, but establishing that early will be crucial later if something goes wrong. Communication should be used to talk about little things like who takes out the trash, who does the dishes, who is responsible for the bathroom, and so on. I have seen plenty of roommate relationships deteriorate because of their lack of communication.
2. Create Boundaries
Boundaries are another facet of a roommate relationship that I have seen greatly affect how things go. Boundaries are important because they let the other person know what you find acceptable and what you do not. If you do not want someone to use your plates, you need to communicate and set that boundary. If you do not, they will use your plate and they will not know that you didn't want them to do that. Boundaries are crucial to settle disputes because you can tell the other person what your boundaries are and they will have to respect that.
3. Put it on Paper
The first two things do not work if there is no physical copy of the things that you talk about, It does not have to actually be on paper, but there does need to be a physical copy of responsibilities and boundaries. This is crucial if something goes wrong because if that situation happens the roommates can go back to it to see what was agreed upon. When I was a resident advisor, this was something I saw that fixed many problems. Sometimes things do not go according to how you want, but if you have a written agreement then things can be fixed.
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